Ramblings and Reflections on Web Site
Ownership
The Stablegirl's Lair
will soon mark its first six months online, which means that it has been a full year
since the idea first occurred to me. That's nothing in the grand scheme of things,
I know, but it's enough to make me stop and think about this whole web site-owning
experience and how it has affected me.
I'm going to ramble a bit
now, so bear with me...
When I announced last
fall that I was going to build a web page, some friends asked me why. At that time, the
only answer I had was, "Because I can." I'd spent a couple of nights learning the
basics of HTML that August (it's amazing what you'll do to keep busy when it's
105° outside, you've read every book in the house, and you don't watch TV), I
was taking a Hypertext class that fall, and I had free web space on Prodigy's
servers. (That last one was the deciding factor, I think...) So why not make a web
page?!
But what to put ON it?
That was the question. I knew I didn't want one of those "Hi, my name is
Melissa. Here's a picture of my cat..." pages. Not that there's anything inherently
wrong with those pages, but I wanted something different, something unique.
So I decided that I'd use
the page to display the graphics I was learning to make (in Windows Paintbrush, no
less...). But just displaying them wasn't enough- I wanted them to be useful in some
way. That's why I decided to give them away-- long before I'd actually created
anything that anyone would want. ;) I loved the idea of my graphics being used by
people I'll never get to meet, I loved the idea of them going places I'll never get
to go. I love thinking that something I've created will go out into the world and
affect people, even if it's only in a very small, insignificant way.
That was the idea behind
the graphics. The essays, on the other hand, were sort of an afterthought. I liked the
idea of being able to express myself to the world in the manner that I've always
felt most comfortable- through writing. But, quite honestly, I didn't really
expect people to read them. Well, a few people, maybe-- friends, family, and the
occasional curious stranger. But I certainly wasn't prepared for the enthusiastic
response they've received, nor did I expect the site as a whole to become as successful
as it has.
In a way, it makes me a
little nervous to realize that there really are people out there reading this stuff. :)
But it also makes it more meaningful. There's a big difference between talking to
myself and talking to You. Yes, You, whoever You are- You give a sense of
validity to this whole project. Without You I would have gotten bored and scrapped
the whole thing months ago.
But Your letters have kept it going.
Sometimes You write and
compliment me on my graphics, and that's wonderful-- it never fails that when my ego
starts getting thin, You'll feed it with flattery. :) And sometimes You make
special requests. I can't fill as many of these as I'd like to, but I'm happy to
try.
Sometimes You write
just to let me know that You like the site-- because it makes You feel comfortable or
because You relate to the theme of the site. Or you write because You think I'm a nice
person and just want to say Hi, even though you "don't usually write to the people who
own web sites." I consider this a huge compliment.
Sometimes You write to
agree with something I've said. Naturally, I love these. ;) And often You ask me for
help or advice, which I'm happy to give whenever possible.
Occasionally You write
to point out my mistakes. While I can't honestly say I like getting these, they
are of tremendous value to me. And, so far, You've always been kind and
constructive in Your criticism.
And sometimes You write
to tell things about Yourself because You think that I'll understand. I like these the
best, I think. :) I got some of these in response to the Technophobic essay, but I got
lots more when I published the story about how I got my nickname. That's when You
really responded, sending me stories about Your own metamorphoses-- in
summer camp, on MUDs, in drama classes... When I wrote that story, I was fully
prepared for You to think I was a freak. Instead, You assured me that I was neither
abnormal nor alone. That means more to me that I can adequately express.
Regretfully, I'm not
always able to answer all of Your letters. And those I do answer, I can't answer
in as much detail as I would like. But I read them all, and I appreciate
them all.
Very early on in my
Web-publishing education, I was led to believe (by a professor who was allegedly an
Internet expert) that the Web community was hostile and judgmental. I was led to
believe that they were intolerant of newcomers and would viciously attack even the
smallest mistake. But You have proved him wrong. You have welcomed me with open
arms and gently helped me to learn from my mistakes.
If you're reading this,
I'm talking about You.
Thank You.
I hope to hear from You
again soon...
--Missy, aka The Stablegirl
August 1998
